Port Coquitlam Cemetery is usually a place of refuge for people remembering a loved one. Hometown hero Terry Fox is buried on the site, where grassy plots give the space a park-like feel and bouquets of flowers provide colour.
But for Ellen Flores, a visit to her mom’s burial site has become fraught with anxiety after the heavy granite gravestone marking her place of rest was moved twice, adding another layer of emotional pain on top of her daughter’s grief.
Flores was close to her mom, Lisa Sinclair, who died in 2017, and she regularly visits her grave to find healing.
“I see this resting place as my mom,” Flores told The Tri-City News this week. "It’s the only constant thing I have in my life. This is my confidante and to go there to see she had been disrespected, that hurt."
Last Mother’s Day, Flores said, she was shocked to see the grave marker missing from its concrete pad. It had been moved by staff to avoid damage during preparations for another burial, she was told. It was moved a second time when she visited on Christmas Day, this time knocked askew, though cemetery staff don’t know how it happened.
This time, Flores said she felt her mother’s sacred space had been violated anew and she vowed to take action.
She emailed the city and said she was contacted by Mayor Brad West, who listened to her concerns and promised to do something about them.
“To some people, it’s just a gravestone. It’s more than that to me,” Flores said, adding when she visits again, she’ll be worried the marker might be missing.
“How do I get that peace? I don’t know. How do I get some resolution?” she asked.
West confirmed to The Tri-City News that he has spoken to staff about the matter and the city has confirmed that while gravestones do have to be moved to avoid damage when new sites are dug, signage will be posted explaining the situation.
“The signage advises that: 'Burial in progress, headstones temporarily relocated to provide access and avoid damage. We apologize for any inconvenience. Thank you for your patience,'” according to Forrest Smith, PoCo's director of engineering and public works.
As well, he said in an email to The Tri-City News, gravestones are moved back “as soon as possible.”
“The city recognizes how any disturbance of a loved one’s site can be extremely upsetting, and for that we have reached out to the family to offer our sincere apologies,” he said.
For those who pay between $3,000 and $8,000 for burial plots depending on whether they are a resident or non-resident, there is a guarantee offered in a promotional brochure; it reads: “By choosing the city of Port Coquitlam cemetery, you can trust that your loved ones will be remembered and cared for the way you wish, now and forever.”
Flores said she hopes she can count on that guarantee.
