A Port Coquitlam woman is finding herself in a condom conundrum and her neighbours say her Facebook post is so memorable, it should get special recognition.
On Sunday (July 18), PoCo residents were asked to think back to their younger years and remember what it was like to have sex for the first time.
After that eye-catching introduction, the woman recounts how her boyfriend was so “excited” when they first got together, he bought her a “giant retail-sized box of condoms.”
The poster, who is still together with her cheeky heartthrob, remembers how she felt when presented with the box of "Notty Boy” condoms in a “variety of flavours and textures.”
“You laugh, you cry, you store it and never think of it again because of the sheer ridiculousness,” the poster recalled.
But then reality hits for young couple and those first romantic pangs become just another piece of clutter.
“Then, you find it again in storage. By this point you’re on birth control and you have no idea what to do with your surplus box of condoms,” the post continues.
Trying to figure out what to do with the surplus latex, she reached out to her fellow Facebook friends and community.
“Well, that’s me, and I need to donate this. A) does anyone know an organization locally that could use these? B) does anyone want any free condoms? All are individually wrapped inside individually sealed boxes. (If you want all or some, it’s pick up only.)”
With a July 2022 expiry, there’s an entire year’s worth of free birth control and for the past few days, the Facebook post has been lit up with comments and suggestions.
One poster suggests they be used to decorate the getaway car for a pair of newlyweds, others suggest they be donated to a local homeless shelter or youth serving organizations such as ACCESS Youth Outreach Services in Coquitlam and the Lower Mainland Purpose Society youth clinic in New Westminster.
“I’m a youth worker! I could definitely take some if they aren’t expired!” writes one poster.
The post also generated some fond memories, as from this person who wrote:
“I could have used them all very quickly anytime from age 18 to my 50s.”
Another commentator recounted how they found some condoms in their parents’ drawer and brought them to school thinking they were water balloons.
“I took them to school and gave them out to kids until one of the older kids knew what they were and told a teacher. Parents were not too happy to get the call. Only then I found out what they really were. I also wondered why they tasted funny and made my lips pucker.”
Possibly the best response was this wistful comment:
“I don’t need the condoms, but if you have any tips on how to be young again, I’m interested.”
